Cerita tentang hidup dan teknologi...

Abah ada terima satu emel dari rakan pejabat. Satu emel yang mengandungi satu jenaka berkaitan kehidupan suami isteri. Kali pertama abah baca, abah tersenyum sorang2 depan komputer. Mahu tak senyum, macam 'real' je lawaknya, dikaitkan dengan perisian komputer.

Tapi lepas tersenyum, abah terfikir pula yang ia bukan satu jenaka kosong sebenarnya. Pada yang mengerti, jenaka ini sebenarnya dicipta kerana realiti kehidupan sememangnya macam itu. Memang banyak perkara itu berlaku. Jika anda perasan 'post' abah sebelum ini berkaitan suami 'mental', jenaka dibawah ini pula lebih kepada isteri 'mental'. Itupun cuma sebahagian alasannya saja. Tidak semuanya digambarkan dalam jenaka itu.

Dan andainya kehidupan adalah semudah 'install' dan 'uninstall' perisian, beruntung manusia ni kan? Berbahagialah sesiapa yang boleh menaiktaraf atau menuruntaraf sistem kehidupan keluarga. Anak bermasalah, 'uninstall'. Isteri tak seperti yg dikehendaki, 'install' mana2 'patch' yang sesuai.

Dan pastinya jika ini betul2 boleh dibuat, kayalah syarikat pembuat perisian tersebut, sebab abah yakin, mesti orang berebut2 nak membelinya.

Cuma satu je masalah yang abah nampak - pabila sang virus menyerang. Kalau serang sikit2 saja tak apa, kalau diformat semula ruang simpanan, ekekekkee, banyaklah hospital bahagia perlu diwujudkan nanti. Ekekekeke.

Apapun, terima ini sebagai jenaka semata. Jika anda nak fikir lebih dari itu, silakan.

UPGRADE FROM BOYFRIEND TO HUSBAND

Dear IT Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower, gifts and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0 and World Cup 2.0.

And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate Housewife

Reply:

Dear Desperate Housewife,

First keep in mind:
Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0.

If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5 or Late Night Teh Tarik 6.1.

Late Night 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly. wav files.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Tasty Food 3.0 and Tongkat Ali 6.9.

Good Luck,
IT Support